So, this is something that has been on my mind a lot for the past month or so. This post is more for me than anyone else, so feel free to stop reading at any time. I have gone back and forth about posting about it because I know that my blog is public and the person that it regards could read it at any time. But, I'm going to do it anyway so that I can get it off my chest and feel better about it. I'm going to be purposely vague. Like I said before, this is more for my benefit than anyone else's.

I have this friend that I used to be really close with. We would hang out, tell each other our fears, dreams and problems and try to support each other through our trials. I valued this friendship and continue to do so. As the years have passed we have grown further apart. Distance is a factor. This person lives a good few hundred miles away and I never really get down to her neck of the woods. Recently, this person had a big change that was happening in her life. I wanted the friendship that we once had and tried to be there for her and help her with things that needed done. I just wanted to be closer to her, like we used to be. Something happened and the big change that was going to happen was put on hold. I figured something was wrong and tried to ask about it. A wall was put up by this person and when I tried to chip away at it and show this person that I cared and wanted to be there for her if she needed anything, even if she didn't need anything. I just wanted to be there. In trying to do that I told this person some feelings I had been having about our friendship. And I picked a really bad time to do so and this person got upset with me. Understandably so. I tried to talk to her. I tried every form of communication that I know to try and talk to her and apologize and make things better and talk things out so that we would both feel right about everything. I tried to call but didn't get an answer so I left a message. No call back as of today. It's been over a month. I tried to text and asked this person to call me and told her I was sorry. No response. Facebook wall posts and messages. No response. I feel bad and part of me is still beating myself up over this. But the other part of me knows that I have tried to mend things. I have done all that I can do. I am still this person's friend even if it is not reciprocated or acknowledged. The ball is in her court. I don't know what else to do. But I am tired of feeling bad about it. If she decides to talk to me then I will be her friend just like I have continued to be her friend this entire time that she has been upset with me. I understand that friends go in different directions and grow apart. That doesn't mean that you can't still be friends though.

I'm writing this here in acknowledgement that I have forgiven this person and myself and that I have done what I can do to make things better. This post is symbolic of me letting this situation go and moving on. Since it is here on this page it is no longer in my mind and can no longer continue to cause me sadness.