So I haven't put up our Christmas tree. Or listened to Christmas music. Or decorated at all. We've had a weird few weeks with being out of town for two weeks with Thanksgiving traveling. Then on Monday I had a small medical procedure that I'm still recovering from and I just haven't felt up to doing much, we've hardly even left the house since I've been trying to just take it easy. It's hard to believe that it's December and that Christmas is well on its way to being here. I'm seriously lacking in motivation. This single mom thing is difficult and I find myself closely guarding any time that I have to be alone and do things that refill my bucket, as I'm very much an introvert and need my alone time. We've also had some family drama recently. I just feel so drained. I wake up exhausted.  But I also am being lifted by hands I cannot see. I might just be barely making it thorough each day, not having strength for any of the "extra" things that are normally so enjoyable, but I'm making it. When Tyler first left I was terrified of having to do this without him. Now as we are nearing the time that Tyler comes home I look back over this experience and am so grateful for what it has done for me and for our family. We have truly been thrust into the refiners fire and could have either chosen to melt under the pressure or be refined and grow stronger. I'm so grateful for the heavenly help that we have been blessed with that had helped us to become stronger through this difficult time, and helped our family to be stronger despite being separated. I wouldn't say that we have enjoyed having Tyler gone, because we miss him so dearly. But we have been able to find happiness in our journey. This is one of the challenges of this life, to be happy no matter how difficult of circumstances we may find ourselves in.
I'm not sure why I'm writing this but I hope I can help someone who is struggling to realize that there's always heavenly help to be had, that you can find joy even in the darkest of days, and that these trials we endure here on earth are but a short time and that through enduring our mortality well we may be recipients of choice blessings.